On a TRIP!

So here I am... On a trip to my old home town... For a week or so.
Right now, it is 7:38am... I haven't sleep at all. Went clubbing tonight with buncha people and my first love. It was great seeing him. No hard feelings or sadness, just a good feeling. I had mucho fun!... until the after "party". So nobody else wanted to go furthermore and drink. Since I didn't have ride or whatever, I decided to go with the ## boys, and we headed to my first love's house. I met his girl. It sucked. haha oh well. Well this was not what I wanted to talk about.
This blog is still about him,..... HIM! you know. I kinda miss him.... Or I DO miss him... It's sad. Even though I'm this far away from him, and got all these things to distract me, I am still sad and missing him. I really wish he would just write SOMETHING, ANYTHING to me. It would make my whole trip wayyyyyyyyyy much better than this. I am suffering from lack of sleep and such a depression. I can't believe I am going back to my gay life. I just hate everything right now. I thought I would have so much fun here but look at me, waiting for my bestie for 2 hours in the lobby that my first love is sleeping with his gf. UGH what a trip right. Our NY trip is over too now. SUCKS. All this makes me miss him more and more. Talking to him would make my days SO MUCH BETTER! I am so stupid... for missing him like this. ugh this is just driving me crazy right now. I hate all of this so much! I hate my life right now. I kinda miss church and my loved ones back in my "home". My life is miserable right now, but i gotta enjoy every moment of it. Or at least try to, because this is once in a lifetime thing right???? There's no way I can get a holiday week off again like this from my TWO jobs. UGH!

I miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him.